#5

Stupid Drugs

By Kazz Falcon

I thought too hard

I can’t think of anything to write about

I know I have many ideals

There were in the back of my head

I don’t see them clearly

I won’t be able to put them down on paper

I wondered if my brain is working

Did the drugs play a part?

It couldn’t be that

Wouldn’t it?

I shouldn’t let the drugs affect my brain

Then again, maybe it did happen that way

It dawn on me

When I think too hard, my brain hurts

I better lay off the drugs for a while

Then I would know the truth

I could tell the drugs messed up my mind

I can’t think straight

The drugs are powerful destroyers

I used to get good grades

Now, I lost my great ideals to stupid drugs

Different Schools

By Kazz Falcon

There was a time

I was quite popular in middle school

Everyone thought I was cool

I wasn’t anybody’s fool

My favorite activity was the pool

Hugs were allowed

Drugs, forget about it

The girls like me a lot

The guys envy me

Next year, things drastically changed

There was a different feel to school

Everyone thought I wasn’t cool

I felt like a fool

I wasn’t the best in the pool

Hugs weren’t allows anymore

Drugs crossed my mind a couple of times

The girls like the other boys

The guys had a chance for love

I was least popular in high school

Too Graphic

By Kazz Falcon

Nah, it couldn’t be

Wah, it shouldn’t be

I don’t have a dirty mouth

I was glad that I don’t live in the south

There would be a hanging

Anywhere, I would be banging

The thought sicken me

It brought out the good in me

I fought being too graphic in my art

I sought out the feel good real life poems

I ought to kick his ass

Oops, what happened to my class?

Me bad

I could be a dirty filthy mouth lad

Was I being too graphic?

Don’t have a cow

I was waiting for a bow

I deserved that much

I served my art not being too graphic

Speech Problem

By Kazz Falcon

I had it since I was a young lad

A kid made fun of me, I was sad

I had a mother’s comfort, I was glad

I couldn’t escape the pain; he was still bad

I wouldn’t take the crap much longer, I was mad

I shouldn’t be hateful to him; I saw an ad

It was about a writing contest

I should show the creep with the test

I would enter it; he was still a pest

I could win; I was the best

With winning the contest, he should give it a rest

A poem came up; it was exciting enough

He picked on me; I would be tough

He hasn’t stop; it was rough

Mom watched TV at home, she was sick

The curtain flew opened; the announcer was Rick

He announced the winner of the contest

I accepted the award; I was the best

The pest wept, he lost to me

I kept my dignity; I showed him I was smart

He thought I was pretty dumb than him

He ought to know by now; I was the winner

Black Angel

By Kazz Falcon

The fire of hell raised me

I seek seriously ill people, even suicidal

The pain they have, I want to kill them

I loved to make them suffer fast

With lethal injection, they won’t last

No other angels have the power and freedom to kill

I always wear black

No, I wasn’t the angel of death

I was more sinister then him

I kill innocence people at night

The ill people called out for me

I answered back with their death

Then I ceased the killing moment

The deceased bodies, the angel of death took their souls

Wherever they turn up – Heaven or Hell

Some would burn in the second death

Their souls scorched for life

It makes me happy when they call out for me

I truly confessed, it gave me satisfaction

I was blessed for being the black angel

Suicide Doctor

By Kazz Falcon

Did I commit murder or assist in suicide?

I admitted I played a big part in their deaths

For them, I used a lethal injection

Some believed I abused my doctor’s rights

Come on, I didn’t misused my rights

There were miserable, they wanted to end it

They came to me; I accosted them with their deaths

Their families hissed at me

Only because they missed their love ones

They didn’t have the guts to kill themselves

I gladly gave them a helping hand

Being the black angel, they put up a stand

The families and friends cried fowl

I tried to explain, “It was in their best interest.”

I fried their love ones with lethal injection

I ended their pain; I was doing my job

I defended myself; they couldn’t accept the suicides

I sent them to an early grave

I bent over for the suicide needs

I went to prison, that wasn’t fair

In the love ones’ eyes, I was a hero

In the families’ eyes, I was a murderer

In my eyes, I was the black angel

Suffering

By Kazz Falcon

When is the suffering going to stop?

I can’t go on living like this, Black Angel

I was in too much pain

My body aches all over by every moment

I wished it would stop

I dished out all the pain I could take

Right now, the pain was too great to handle

The sight of things, I hope it would end soon

I prayed, my lover has the strength for me

He promised he would be the Black Angel

He can end it for me; just pull the plug

Do it for me, I would ole him a big hug

I just want to die, free of pain

Did he lie? Did he take off in the train?

I hope not, I really need him

The plug, honey, the plug, just pulls the damn plug

I looked at him; he crumbled to pieces

He booked his tears away from me

I saw the pain in his eyes

He had a tough decision to make

It was rough for him; his true love was dying

He could stop the pain for the both of us

Just pull the plug, Black Angel, death awaits me

Frightening Morning

By Kazz Falcon

After awhile, the table’s lamp begun to flash

The chairs made some noises

Through the walls, I heard some voices

It called out a name

I didn’t heard quite well what it was saying

It became furiously with me

The chairs moved faster

The table was lifted

I jumped on my bed; I wouldn’t dare to hide under

The bed kept on crashing everywhere

I wept, why is the demon mad?

I didn’t do anything wrong, the voices screamed at me

I screamed back, “Leave me alone!”

I searched for the good luck charm, the special stone

The door, I remembered, the door

I could escape; I leaped forth to the door

It was locked; I was trapped

I jumped back on the bed, my eyes was shut

I was scared, I prayed to God

The voices got louder; I hid under the blanket

Things got calmer; my mother came in

I was glad to see her; she comforted me

She noticed the stone; it put a smile on her

A tornado struck, I was safe in her arms

Sex Addiction

By Kazz Falcon

I became a sex addict through looking for love

My sexual needs came stronger than love

The same old story, I looked for love in the wrong places

I tried love at the clubs

I managed to get sex from one-night stands

I tried love at coffee house

I managed to find sex

I tried love at a church; it was somewhat better

We somehow ended up in bed

I tried love at the movies

The movies became x rated, more sex

It seems like nobody wanted to be in love

I thought they was more interest in sex

I ought to know, love wasn’t around

I fought my sexual desires; I was lonely

I sought out love; it got too frustrated

I brought some x-rated magazines

It didn’t do me any better; I want the real thing

I was vulnerable; the bathhouse became a second home

Sex was on my mind 24/7, I felt empty inside

I couldn’t get enough sex; I want sex badly

My life was a mess; sex was my drug

Lusty Sex

By Kazz Falcon

I was turn on by sex at an early age

We was the same sex, we experienced the gay sex

It was very interesting thou

We was fascinated by the male body

He moved away, my desires didn’t stop there

I loved the experience I had with him

I drove around, as I got older

I picked up men everywhere I could find them

Quick sex wasn’t enough for me

I wanted sex to last a long time

It was hard; I still lived with my family

So, I kept on searching for sex

I slept with many men

Love never entered my mind

It was the farthest thing from me

I came upon an ad for a bathhouse

I didn’t know what one was

I figured they sell bathtubs for houses

Boy, I was wrong! I got an eyeful

And, girlfriend, I had more fun ever before

Sex didn’t stop there

Along the way, I found out about the sex clubs

Reactions

By Kazz Falcon

I wrote a story about the pussy for kids

With a note, I got permission to read in the library

At first, the parents thought nothing of it

The moment they heard pussy, they was beyond shocked

They were ready to throw rocks

I had a sinful dirty mouth

Of course, this was the south

They didn’t take kindly to the pussy or me

I defended my freedom of speech

I ended in jail for a couple of nights

They pretended it was much worse than that

I went to another town for another chance

The same thing happened; I couldn’t dance

Both times, they ran me out of town

I couldn’t believe it; I was down

I cried, “Give me a chance, dear lord!”

This time, open minded with my sword

They picked up some rocks

They thought I tricked them

I gave them some advice

Please listen to the whole story

A miracle occurred; they didn’t judge the pussy or me

The pussy became successful, thanks to reactions

Close Minded Judges

By Kazz Falcon

I was being judge for the pussy

They took the pussy out of content

I explained it was only a word

I wasn’t being negative about the pussy

Such words as “fag, nigger” are in bad taste

Without much luck, I was crucified at the cross

They didn’t give a damn

They only want to believe what they heard

I told them very nicely,

“You are old enough to know better.”

Once again, it went over their heads

I wondered what happened to the freedom of speech

Whosoever is not open minded, they are stupid

They want to judge anyone for something

My God, what kind of life is that?

I pouted, “You’re not being fair!”

I shouted, “God is the judge, not you.”

It went out in one ear, out the other one

They can be so close-minded

What a sad, sad sight indeed

Childless Mother

By Kazz Falcon

My baby fell off the bed

I thought my boyfriend watched her closely

Soon enough, he came back to the room; the baby was dead

He was lost for words; it was a shock to us

It almost cost my other kids too

Losing one kid was bad, losing all of them were much worse

Everyone was sad; she didn’t live a full life

I was mad, I hold him responsible for her death

He was old enough to be careful with babies

Someone told the Child Protection Agency

They came fast for an investigating

In the mean time, they took the other kids away

I was shook up, more heartbreak

I wasn’t allow to see them, I couldn’t bare the thought

I cried, I missed my kids including the dead daughter

I tried to get them back; I want my kids now

I was denied; they believed I was an unfit mother

It fried me; I would never hurt them in any way

It wasn’t my fault; he foolishly walked away

Things happens, he thought the baby was safe

I ought to trust him; he was like a father to them

I must get my kids back; they are my kids

I felt horrible that she was dead

It melted me that I may never see them again

I can’t live without then, they were my life forever

Hollywood Bowl

By Kazz Falcon

I finally convinced the supervisor to let my play in the bowl

He thought my art wouldn’t fly with the audience

Hmm, the way I see it, it was up to the audience

They may boo or cheer me

I wasn’t even a big time star

I just wanted to show my craft during the intermission

Trust me, I had a long way to hit big time

I must think small; then I would grow into Mr. Big

I climbed up the wall once before, I watched from afar

Watching them at the bowl, I felt alive

The performers and the music were alive in me

Since then, I had the desire to play at the bowl

I didn’t know what my act would be

I would do anything to perform including reading some poems

It dawn on me, what if I became a artist

Then the supervisor won’t denied me

Boy, I was wrong – he denied me so many times

I tried all kinds of act

I cried, none of them work smoothly

He did like my one ideal; I could read poems

My big night came; the crowd wouldn’t leave for the intermission

They was glued to their seats, my poems drawn them to me

The supervisor realized I was good enough for Hollywood Bowl

All My Money

By Kazz Falcon

I wasted it on drugs

Nobody was around to give me hugs

Everybody did something else

Somebody was my drug dealer at the park

A few go to him for drugs

He could trust me; I was one of his many buyers

I would go to him each month

I should do something else with my money

But I had no desire

I was homeless for a while

I lived in a tent in downtown LA

I vented my problems with the drugs

Then again, what problems

The drugs freed me from them

I was relieved; I don’t have a care in the world

I didn’t want to deal with an apartment

So many times, I was late with the rent

The late fees cost me a bundle

I didn’t keep up with the bills either

I spent the money on drugs each much

I was tired of the hassles from the landlord

On skid row, I was freed from every day’s troubles

I don’t miss the apartment, I was glad I gave it up

I had more time and more money for drugs

It was sad that I get pay once a month

Flat Broke

By Kazz Falcon

I get paid early in the month, once a month

By each paycheck, I spent it all on drugs

The money lasted a week or less

It depends on too much drugs I want

Sometimes, I want a dime, a quarter or whatever

Most times, I buy the big one

I hope it would last me a long time

The dope I was, it doesn’t last throughout the week

I must cope with the other druggies at skid row

Some I can’t trust, some are my friends

We tried to look out for each other

I cried when we ran out of drugs

Then the search begins, I scores drugs somehow

I would lie, cheat or steal to get what we want

I could work, but nobody wants to hire a homeless person

The supervisors truly believed I was bad news

No matter what how hard I try, I was flat broke

I do favors, any favor they want from me

It could be anything, I don’t mind

I don’t care as long I get my high of the day

I want the4 high to get away from being homeless

I felt much better; my nerves won’t be shock

The drugs was my escape from reality

My highlight of the month was my paycheck

My low is by the first week I am flat broke

Male Prostitute

By Kazz Falcon

I couldn’t find any other job

I shouldn’t let it get to me

I wouldn’t cry over spilt milk

It happens often

By now, I was so used to it

I refused to work for low lives

They abused their powers; they turned me down flat

It burned me that they can’t see pass the speech problem

It was their loss; I could be a great asset

Oh well! Life goes on

Prostitution was the next best thing for me

Any men would pay for me; I have a perfect body

I could charge a bundle; anything goes

I should be careful; they are STD’s

I don’t give a damn, no one ants me

I won’t stop; I need the money no matter what

I was in a tough position; I can’t afford a place

It was rough, the street as my home

I don’t care if I get AIDS

I don’t care if I get kill

I don’t care if I get sick

I don’t care if I die young

Why should I care?

No one does

I tried my best, I failed miserable

I cried every other day, the tears was my blanket

Now, you know, I’m a male prostitute

The Kite

By Kazz Falcon

She blew right into my life

I knew God sent her my way for a reason

It could be any season

It was spring, a new beginning for everything

It also be a renewal of some sort

I didn’t know what it was yet

Hmm, I see that you already placed your bet

Are you sure about it?

I had a good feeling that I would beat the odds

I sensed something great was about to happen

It could be anything that I set my mind to it

It would be nothing; the kite would never come my way

But the kite did

I kid you not

The lid was opened; I found some paint

I went around in circles; I must focus

Sounds like a great ideal; I became patience quickly

I control the kite in the rough winds

It has written something in the air

“Become the artist you once was.”

I let go of the kite; it disappeared into the skies

The artist reappeared after a long absence

She blew right out of my life

The Lost Kite

By Kazz Falcon

My owner let me go in the air

Therefore, I was on a private quest for a mission

He won’t miss me; I always come back

I flew to Los Angeles; I was on the right track

I knew I would find him; he was dress in black

He changed over the years, but his heart remained whack

He was lonely and confused; he lost his way

For a long time, he won’t go on living for another day

His heart broken in a million of pieces

He needs something to renew his heart’s desires

The weed wasn’t do him any good

The seed wanted him to grow

He could be anything he wants to be

He should live his dreams; he was quite good

He would be known for his art

He only needs a helping hand

I was the enforcer; I must make it right

He wasn’t happy with his life, he fallen on rough times

Being homeless again was so badly tough

I saw him in the park, crying out loud

I was there for him, trying to fix his life

The seed was planted; I flew back home

Open Mike

By Kazz Falcon

I wrote a poem

I was running late from drunk driving

I arrived one hour late

I survived the traffic on the way

Thank God they took a break

I signed up for Open Mike

Then I realized, “what was I doing?”

I can’t speak in front of them, I wasn’t nervous

I did had the nerves, I just can’t do it

I wasn’t comfortable there

I tried to persuade a friend

He denied me; he believed I could do it

I cried, “How could I do it?”

I was fried at the moment

It was agonizing for me; I couldn’t do it

I wasn’t ready; the drunk driving was awesome

Should I do it? Yes, I should

Could I do it? Yes, I could

Would I do it? Yes, I would

Only if I concentrate on the drunk driving

I know I was the best in my heart

I couldn’t go on with drunk driving

I wasn’t ready of felt comfortable

People wouldn’t understand me

Drunk Driving

By Kazz Falcon

I almost kill someone in Hollywood

He was in intensive care, barely hanging on

Our futures were at stake; I couldn’t bare the thought

Me, a murderer!

It can’t be, I hope it doesn’t come true

I was a dope for drunk driving

I must cope with the deadly consequences

Trust me, I wished I had a rope

I felt it tightening around my neck

Their hands wouldn’t let go of choking me

I wished I died right along with him

He don’t deserved to die unlike me

I made it out of alive, why couldn’t it be him?

I want to trade places; my guilt may go away

It won’t fade away; I must live with the guilt

The guilt of my actions was too powerful

I still need to face his angry mother

Lots of thoughts races through my mind

What if it didn’t happen?

I would be better off

It could never happen

But it did, I became so drunk

I got in the car from the gay club

I can’t remember a damn thing

All I know, the police took me away for drunk driving

This Angry Mother

By Kazz Falcon

I just found out that a drunk driver struck my only son

I didn’t like the sound of it

I never thought it would happen to him

I ought to know, drunk driving could happen anywhere

I brought him up to be a happy loving young man

Damn him! He destroyed my son’s future

I couldn’t gasp the thought; he was on his deathbed

He may not make it out alive; I wished the same for him

Better yet, let him rot in jail where he belongs

Hell, no! I would seek the death penalty on his behalf

That would be my ultimate revenge

I was so angry; I couldn’t forgive him

I can’t live on without my only son

He was 16 year old; he had a bright future

Now, his future was taken away from him

He didn’t graduate school or went to collage

How could he live with himself?

He ruined my son’s future

He deserved all the pain in the world unlike my son

My heartbreaks, my son lays there helpless

I couldn’t do a damn thing

Then again, I can start my own MADD in town

It was a positive way to heal this angry mother

Thoughts In A Coma

By Kazz Falcon

I was helpless; a drunk driver put me in a coma

I couldn’t reach out to my mother

I just can’t do it; I was badly hurt

I felt my mom’s presence; she tried to hold on to me

I melted by her love; she cried that I might die soon

The way my mother carried on, she wants him to fry

With the law on her side, she can’t be deny

I hope I woke up soon; she cares to see my eyes

She wants to look into my eyes

She gently said, “Your mom is here. Everything would be all right!”

I wished I could hear that, I need her love and comfort

Most of all, I need her strength

It might be a tall order; it was worth the shot

The sight of things, I wondered why me

Why do I deserve to be punished like this?

I didn’t do anything wrong, I was one of the nice guys

I don’t know what to make out of it

It couldn’t be a part of God’s plans

God wouldn’t punish the good people in the world

I shouldn’t be angry with God

I know in my heart, something positive would come

My mother and I can’t be negative about it

We need to hold on to our faith in God

I need to hold on to dear life

We need to hold on to each other through thick and thin

The Meeting In The Jail

By Kazz Falcon

The mother and I met face to face for the first time

I never saw so much anger from a mother before

Her eyes were red shot, so devilish, and steamed

She didn’t hold back, she lashed me with her whip

I felt the hurt; I bashed her son’s future

With her belt, she wanted to strangle me

No man or God could stop her

She was determined to name me pay with the drunk driving

She vowed I would get mine – the death penalty

Gulp! I feared, please not that, I didn’t mean to

Her tears could have flood my jail cell

I won’t be able to get out; I was locked up

I would drown; she wouldn’t care

I didn’t care either

I left her son to die in the street

He was innocence in all of this

I created the mess; I was a drunk driver

I confessed, “I deserved the pain her son got from me.”

She thought I should be the one in the hospital

I ought to; a life hangs in balance

She fought for her son’s life; he needs her strength

She hope she never ever cross path with me

If she does, my life would end with a car

Much like her son’s life may end soon

Adoption

By Kazz Falcon

It was sad that it led to adoption

I was glad my baby would have a better like without me

It was bittersweet; I can’t see him to grow up

I would miss the joys and pains of parenthood

It could be much better if I stop doing drugs

It should be much easier if I receive hugs

I won’t be able to hug my son

I don’t have the money to raise him

It always goes to drugs; the addiction was too strong

There goes my son’s motherly hugs; it felt empty for long

I was a dope, the drugs were too important than him

I hope to God, he would understand why I gave him up

Maybe, he would never know the truth of me

His new parents nay not tell him at all

They would claim him as their own flesh and blood

I wouldn’t blame them; he was their son now

They can raise him any way they want to

I trust the adoption agency

They must have put him in a wonderful family

That was the only thing I could hope for my son

Damn! I need to stop saying “my son”

It was hard thou, he was a piece of my life

I felt so lonely inside; I want pot to forget about him

It was a good thing I gave him up for adoption

An Adoption Baby

By Kazz Falcon

We wanted a baby so badly. My wife couldn’t have any

We tried so many times in the natural way

She cried, the doctor gave her the bad news

We also got good news; he knew a fabulous adoption agency

He recommends that place too all his patients

She felt she couldn’t dot it

The baby wouldn’t be hers; it was somebody else’s

She wanted her own baby to love and care for

Besides, it may take months or even years

We didn’t have that much time

We were going up in the years; we want a baby now

We stared into each other’s eyes

We dared to admit; we could wait a little longer

We tried for a long time

Couple more months/years would be fine

We prayed that it doesn’t take a long time

We deserved an adoption baby no matter who we are

We had lots of love to show

We had lots of money to raise the baby

We had lots of friends for support

Things couldn’t get any better than that

We want the same experience our lesbian friends had

We could be great parents for an adoption baby

A Special Man

By Kazz Falcon

God has a plan for my speech problem

It came about so that his work might be displaced in me

It was the same thing with the blind man

I became Jesus Christ’s biggest fan

Let put Satan where be belongs – in the can

Set my mind, the artist came within

I met my power; it was an awesome feeling

I can’t get wet; God is behind me 100%

I bet the artist would have influenced in their lives

My safety net was God; he gave me a powerful voice

People should listen to me; I was one of a kind artist

They could get more out of life

I would give them a reason to

They can see themselves in the art

The influence I have over them

They would think twice of the choices

Wink, wink,

I won’t control their lives

Everyone must learn the hard way no matter what

I earned my powerful voice

Hear me in the art; I speak the truth of life

Tear away from your troubles

Clear your mind; think positive thoughts

I sought God’s plan by being a special man

Sick & Tired

By Kazz Falcon

The homeless situation ticks me off

Why don’t I have the strength to lick it?

I didn’t pick to be homeless again

Sometimes, it was a dick

No matter how hard it is, I want to trick it

Someone came to my rescue in the nick of time

His name was Rick, he was in the same boat

He was a male prostitute, now a successful actor

He offered to take me to his pad

It was tempted; this lad would be in paradise

I couldn’t accept it; I want to make it on my own

I wouldn’t dare to; it was sweet of him

“You shouldn’t be a hooker,” he claimed

“I know I could get something dreadful,” I proclaimed

He remembered the place he used to stay

We raced to La Brea; it could be a way

I faced a uncertain future

It could be a place to get on my feet

I should be able to sleep easy at night

I would be safe from the streets

He offered me a real job if they accept me

I took up on his deal; I got on my knees

God listened to our needs

Being homeless, I was sick & tired

Known

By Kazz Falcon

I walked in the shadow of Jesus Christ

I talked mostly about real life

He made himself known to the world

Just like I did with my poems

He reached out to millions of people

Just like I did with my poems

He healed people with his powers

Just like I did with my poems

He saved millions of people

Just like I did with my poems

He taught about love and compassion

Just like I did with my poems

He preached the truth of life

Just like I did with the poems

He showed the world what he was about

Just like I did with the poems

He didn’t look beyond by some people

Just like I did with the poems

He was turned away from who he was

Just like I did with the poems

He was the one for everyone

I was the one for anybody

We traveled down the same path

We both have insights about the world

Wherever the shadow goes, I followed him

The Shadow

By Kazz Falcon

I heard so much about the shadow

I wanted to be like him

He was mysterious and loved by all

He kept on doing wonderful things throughout the world

I wept, “We need to be more like him”

He was so loving, caring and a sweetheart

Wherever he goes, I followed him

I searched for him everywhere

The places he have been to

No one ever saw him, nor they had a picture of him

I wondered why

I had another question, “Where does he live?”

I continued to search for his home

He didn’t have a phone or address listed

I searched more; he was missing

I gave up on him; I couldn’t find him

I sensed a presence; no one was around

I felt the shadow lurks in the background

He didn’t stay that long; he mysterious disappeared

I saw a description on the wall

“Follow me, I would give you the world again.”

I felt something in my heart

I was melted by the shadow